People share advice for living with a partner for the first time

People share advice for living with a partner for the first time

07/30/2021

Moving in with a partner is a huge step.

Your day-to-day lives and schedules will merge – which, if all goes to plan, should bring you closer together. 

It’s a huge relationship milestone. 

However, being new territory, it can also be incredibly daunting.

It’s difficult to know what to expect until you’re both living under the same roof – will it change the dynamic of a relationship? Will petty household things cause more arguments?

We’ve rounded up some of the best advice for living with a partner for the first time – from those who have done it themselves.

This is what they had to say…

Kiri – ‘Let the little things go’

Once you start to notice little things that annoy you, sit on it for a while until it’s something that’s definitely irritating. If you nitpick every little thing, you’re going to have all your own annoying things thrown back at your face that you don’t realise you do.

Laura – ‘Have your own spaces’

Have separate zones for all your stuff. I like to still have all my stuff in place as my stuff and to know where everything is that is mine.

And make sure there is somewhere for you both to have your own space. We only have two rooms and a bathroom, so we bought a TV for the bedroom just so we didn’t always have to watch the same thing.

Francesca – ‘Enjoy yourselves’

Keep it fun. From cornettos in bed for breakfast to indoor camping date nights, you need some spontaneous joy or it all becomes routine.

Jessica – ‘Talk about cleanliness from the off’

For me I’d say you should have a really frank chat about how clean someone is before you move in. It’s worked out fine for me because I do big jobs and my boyfriend does day to day picking stuff up, but I know it’s a struggle for couples when they don’t have the same standard of what needs to be done. Because it’s boring stuff, that really would take away any romance if it was disparate.

Aidan – ‘Comprise on decor’

Everyone having a say in decor is a big plus – you don’t want to feel like you’ve moved into their house, because it’s both of your homes now.

If (not naming names) one of you has an impractically large pillow shaped like a penis that the other one hates, maybe think about giving it a new home. In return, you might not have to budge on the leopard print blanket you love. Compromise.

Jim – ‘Don’t be afraid to talk finances’

Several years ago my then girlfriend was angling to move in with me – we had the conversation about how great it would be and it was the right time.  However, whenever I raised the tricky question of financial contribution to my mortgage, outgoings, utilities etc, she got defensive and changed the subject on more than one occasion. Things came to a head when she finally admitted to being in debt with credit card companies, and had next to no savings whatsoever. She actually thought she could move in with little to no financial contribution, which was naive on her part and a wake-up call on mine.

My advice to anyone who owns their own property is to protect your own financial position, first and foremost. Talking about finances is the grown-up thing to do when a couple moves in together and, if you’re with the right person, it shouldn’t be a conversation to avoid. 

Natalie – ‘Make time for date nights’

When you live together, particularly at the beginning, there is so much admin and chores, it can really sap the romance. It’s very easy to forget to make time to spend fun time together because you know you’ll always end up going to bed together anyway.

Louise – ‘Decorate together’

If you’re moving into their place, makeover a room together so it feels like your home too. It doesn’t have to be a full blown redecorate: paint one wall, hang some prints or buy a rug and cushions – just do it together.

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