I've written my kids notes to open after I'm gone, says Deborah James as she hails 'incredible' husband

DEBORAH James has shared how she plans to leave her children letters for milestone moments.

The mum-of-two revealed she wants to be part of her kids' wedding days and birthday through notes she'll leave for them to open.

She wants to pass on advice for first dates and to share a moment with them before they get married.

She told The Times: "It’s hard to work out what to do: you don’t want to rip off the Band-Aid every birthday and ruin it for them.

"But at the same time I want them to have letters at milestones, and funny messages.

"I used to hate the idea of a memory box, but I’ve just ordered a blue and a pink one."

• Deborah has urged people to donate to her fundraiser – at bowelbabe.org – which has already raised more than £2million

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The Sun columnist, known as Bowel Babe, has been living with bowel cancer since 2016.

The former deputy headteacher has shared how awful it was to tell her children she was stopping active treatment.

She revealed the news to her army of supporters online this week, saying she had left hospital to be at her parents for her final days.

Deborah praised her husband, saying: "We have had a string of emotional conversations that have escalated very quickly from supportive care to end-of-life care.

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"My husband Sebastien has been incredible, he has dropped everything and is with me 24/7.

“I don’t think I have ever seen my husband so emotional; but now he has suddenly realised the enormity of this."

She is now receiving hospice care and will spend her last days surrounded by family.

She opened up about stopping active treatment in her final episode of her BBC podcast titled – You, Me and the Big C: Putting the can in cancer.

The episode, movingly called Deborah James' Last Dance, saw her speak candidly to producer Mike Holt.

Bowel cancer symptoms to speak to your GP about:

The five red-flag symptoms of bowel cancer include:

• Bleeding from the back passage, or blood in your poo
• A change in your normal toilet habits – going more frequently for example
• Pain or a lump in your tummy
• Extreme tiredness
• Losing weight

Tumours in the bowel typically bleed, which can cause a shortage of red blood cells, known as anaemia. It can cause tiredness and sometimes breathlessness.

In some cases bowel cancer can block the bowel, this is known as a bowel obstruction.

Other signs of bowel cancer include:

• Gripping pains in the abdomen
• Feeling bloated
• Constipation and being unable to pass wind
• Being sick
• Feeling like you need to strain – like doing a number two – but after you've been to the loo

The pair shared a powerful chat on her final days, and the impact of the podcast on cancer patients.

This week Deborah unveiled her BowelBabe Fund and urged her supportive fans to help it flourish.

Donations can be made at bowelbabe.org, and more than £2million has been raised in less than 24 hours.

She asked supporters to buy her a drink to "see me out this world" by donating the cost to the fund.

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The Sun columnist said it would raise money for further life-saving cancer research "to give more Deborah's more time".

The money will be donated between Cancer Research UK, Bowel Cancer UK and the Royal Marsden.

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