Kerry Katona ‘hurt’ as her kids are bullied over her drug taking 13 years ago

New! magazine columnist Kerry Katona gets brutally frank about how her children have suffered from bullying because of her drug taking in her exclusive column this week.

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I’ve always been hard on myself as a mother

Last week saw my eldest daughter Molly turned 20. I can’t believe it. She’s still my baby but I’m so proud of the woman she’s become. In the two decades since becoming a mother, the biggest lesson I have learned is to not be so hard on yourself.

I have been so hard on myself as a mother because I’ve been so judged. But you never get it 100 percent right. With first babies, you panic so much. I remember looking over Molly’s crib all the time to check she was still breathing.

You panic over what they might touch or pick up or accidentally pop in their mouth. It’s so tough but the most important thing is the love you share. The love I have felt as a mother is indescribable. If I could bottle it, I would.

The key to recovery is owning up to everything you’ve done

My good friend Michelle Heaton gave a very emotional interview on Lorraine Kelly recently and apologised for secretly drinking before her interviews. I’m so proud of her. In recovery, the most important lesson is acceptance and owning up to everything you have done. There’s no point in trying to hide anything.

You have to reveal the worst of yourself to move forward. I’ve always been honest with my kids about my past because there’s no point hiding it. What hurts is that even 13 years sober, kids still tease my children in the playground about my past. Even though my kids never witnessed me taking drugs, they are the ones still suffering for it all these years later. I never take my recovery for granted either.

I know I could still relapse tomorrow. I’m human and who knows what could happen? If I was to relapse, it wouldn’t mean I’m a bad person or a bad mother. I have to take my recovery day by day.

I’m overwhelmed by the support

After appearing on SAS: Who Dares Wins, I’ve had so much support and so many incredible messages from women thanking me for speaking openly about my experience with domestic violence. It’s such a tough subject to be so open about but if speaking about it can help someone going through something similar than it’s worth it.

I can’t believe how I’ve turned my life around

I recently signed a multi-million pound deal with the company Thrillz, who provide personalised celebrity video messages and live experiences, as an Investor & Creative Advisor. I can’t believe how I’ve turned things around. From being bankrupt to where I am now. I’m so happy.

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