What happens if you fall in love – just not with your engagement ring?

When diamonds AREN’T a girl’s best friend: It’s the one piece of jewellery you hope to wear for ever. So what happens if you fall in love — just not with your engagement ring?

• It’s estimated that two-thirds of brides-to-be end up with rings they don’t like 
• Four UK-based women reveal how they asked their partner for a new ring 
• Rebecca Mullock, 30, had complained about her ring snagging on her clothes
• She was produced with a replacement ring the following year on her birthday 

Velvet chokers, feathered earrings and strings of brightly coloured knotted beads all prove that it isn’t just clothes that go in and out of fashion — jewellery does, too. But there’s one piece of jewellery that can’t be discarded when it’s no longer on trend: an engagement ring.

The ring your husband-to-be proposes with is something you’ll have on the fourth finger of your left hand every day, hopefully for decades to come — and it has to look good with whatever you’re wearing. Yet it’s estimated that two-thirds of brides-to-be end up with rings they don’t like and would never have picked out themselves.

A proposal is one of the happiest moments in a woman’s life, but what do you do if the engagement ring he proffers isn’t to your taste? Or, worse still, is so garish that you’re embarrassed to wear it?

In the afterglow of the proposal, how do you find the courage — and the ruthlessness — to burst his balloon and tell him you want a new ring? Four brave women reveal all …

I SAID NOTHING AND SECRETLY CHANGED IT!

Jodie Andrews, 29, is a PA and lives in Epping, Essex, with her fiance Ricky, 37, a driver, and their children Vinnie, six, and Suki, four.

Four UK-based women reveal how they asked their partner for a new engagement ring – including Jodie Andrews, 29, (pictured) who secretly had her ring dipped in gold by a local jeweller until her fiancé noticed

When Ricky dropped to one knee and proposed on Valentine’s Day 2019 during a holiday in Mexico, I was so swept up in the moment that I didn’t pay much attention to the jewellery.

We’d been walking from the beach to the hotel with our toddler in his pushchair when Ricky asked me to marry him, so it wasn’t until the evening that I had a good look at my ring.

When I’d imagined getting engaged, I’d dreamt of a gold band with a beautiful teardrop diamond — and I’d hinted as much to Ricky.

He’d gone for platinum, chosen because it’s widely considered the superior precious metal, and I appreciated that sentiment very much. But I love gold, and nothing in my jewellery box goes with the ring.

Set into the band is a simple, round, 1.7-carat diamond. My overwhelming feeling was that he’d played it safe instead of taking my hints. Perhaps I didn’t drop enough of them!

Fearful of hurting his feelings, I didn’t say a word for more than a year as I really appreciated the effort and £7,000 expense he’d gone to.

Jodie is now working with a jewellery designer to redesign her engagement ring

In the meantime, I secretly had the ring dipped in gold by a local jeweller, desperate for it to match my watches, bracelets, earrings and necklaces.

When it wore off, I left it with the jeweller to dip it again — and that’s when I had to come clean to Ricky as he spotted I wasn’t wearing it.

He was slightly taken aback but he knows I’m very particular.

It wasn’t mentioned again until I collected the ring from the jeweller, and Ricky agreed it looked lovely in gold. But I could tell he was a little crestfallen that he hadn’t chosen a ring I thought was perfect.

With it finally out in the open, I contacted bespoke jewellery designer Charlotte Leigh (lottieleigh.com) and we’re now working together to redesign the ring.

I’ve grown to love the diamond but I’m hoping to have a slimmer gold band with some detail on it.

HE PANICKED… THEN BOUGHT ME A NEW ONE

Rebecca Mullock, 30, has an arts and crafts business and lives in Paignton, Devon, with husband David, 48, who works for a printing manufacturing company.

Rebecca Mullock, 30, (pictured) who lives in Paignton, Devon, ended up with a wishbone-shaped ring instead of the bling solitaire diamond she had dreamt of 

It was November 2011 and David was planning a festive proposal. But despite trawling the jewellery shops for hours on end, not one of the rings I said I liked was available in my size.

So, desperate to have something to show off when he proposed, David ended up panic-buying one. And although I loved the act of receiving an engagement ring from him, it wasn’t what I’d have chosen at all. I secretly hoped we would one day replace it.

Instead of the bling solitaire diamond I’d dreamt of, I ended up with a wishbone-shaped ring. Fortunately, it didn’t spoil the proposal on Christmas Eve. But as I started wearing the ring, the claws around the stones would catch on everything, pulling and snagging on my clothes.

Rebecca was given the ring she really wanted the following year

I explained to David that I just wanted a simple white gold ring with a single diamond.

He’d already figured out from my complaining about the ring ruining my clothes, and the fact it was so different to all the designs I’d picked out beforehand, that I wasn’t happy with it.

The following year, on the evening before my birthday, he produced exactly what I really wanted.

I could see that for David there was an element of disappointment that he hadn’t got that reaction from me with the first attempt.

But there’s a lot of pressure on men to get it right, and better late than never is what I say.

EVERY TIME I SEE MY RING MY HEART BREAKS

Christine Brown, 45, lives in Chichester, West Sussex, and runs a small publishing firm. She’s married to Adam, 42, a global marketing manager for a flight company, and they have a 12-year-old daughter.

Hundreds of times a day I catch sight of my engagement ring. When I’m working, driving, cooking dinner, tucking my daughter into bed, there it is. And it breaks my heart because it’s not the flashy, sparkling diamond solitaire I longed for. 

Adam and I have been married for 18 years and, while I love him dearly, I hate the flower-shaped ring set with a diamond in each petal that he proposed with 20 years ago.

Christine Brown, 45, (pictured) who lives in Chichester, West Sussex, hates the flower-shaped ring set with a diamond in each petal that husband Adam proposed with 20 years ago

Why not change it? Because I’m superstitious and worry that if we changed it now it might jinx our strong marriage.

We met in 2000 and dated for two years before Adam asked me to marry him one evening at home. I flung my arms around him, not taking much notice of the ring in the open box he was holding.

But when I did put the ring on, I realised it was one I’d pointed out in a shop window.

He’d asked me a couple of months earlier if there was any jewellery I liked and, given that he’d surprised me with a diamond tennis bracelet on our first Valentine’s Day together the year before, I’d assumed he was gearing up for February 14 again.

So I mentioned a necklace, earrings and ring that I’d seen in a shop — the ring he subsequently proposed with.

Christine is hoping to get a new engagement ring when she and Adam renew their vows 

It’s pretty enough, but it’s certainly not an engagement ring. As far as I’m concerned, there is a big difference between a Valentine’s gift you might wear occasionally and the ring you’ll wear on your finger for ever.

I often think of a line from Friends when Jennifer Aniston’s character gets engaged and Monica looks at the huge rock on her finger and says: ‘Wow, you can’t even see where the Titanic hit it!’ That’s what I covet. A huge, iceberg-esque diamond.

Eventually, after a glass of wine at home a few months after our wedding in 2004, I admitted I’d always wondered whether we could change it for a solitaire.

Although Adam was surprised — and claimed it was partly my fault because I’d told him I liked the ring, which is why he’d chosen it — he said he was happy to do so one day, when we could afford it.

We’re thinking of renewing our vows in 2024 for our 20th wedding anniversary, so hopefully I’ll get a new engagement ring to coincide with that. Ultimately, though, my own superstition will determine whether or not I do.

All these years later, I’m still thrilled that Adam proposed to me and that our marriage has lasted so long. But I will always feel disappointed when I look at my ring finger and think that my beloved husband didn’t know me well enough, at that time, to know what I really wanted.

THE STONE WAS HUGE — BUT IT WAS A FAKE

Charlotte Hammond-Wright, 36, is a copywriter from Farnham, Surrey. She lives with her husband Patrick, 37, director of sport at a school, their daughter Alice, five, and her son, Milo, 11, from a previous relationship.

Charlotte Hammond-Wright, 36, (pictured) from Farnham, Surrey, couldn’t understand why husband Patrick picked a fake diamond set in silver to propose 

Jewellery isn’t really my thing, but even I was shocked when Patrick revealed that the stone in the ring he proposed with was a cubic zirconia and not a glittering diamond.

It was March 2015, two years after we’d first met on a night out, and we were enjoying a moonlit walk during a short break in Venice when Patrick popped the question.

The truth is, I’m so clueless about jewellery that I wouldn’t have known it was a fake diamond except for the fact that when I exclaimed, ‘Wow, it’s huge!’ as Patrick slipped it on to my finger, he replied a little sheepishly: ‘Erm, it’s not a real diamond.’

Even though I loved the style of the ring, I couldn’t understand why he’d picked a fake diamond set in silver as the ring, which he later admitted cost him £150!

Charlotte said her replacement engagement ring is more than 13 times the cost of the original ring

He told me he’d taken one of my rings with him when he bought it to ensure it was the right size, and that my son helped him choose it.

Despite feeling a bit awkward about it, I told him outright that it wasn’t for me but I appreciated the time and effort that had gone into it regardless.

I was so ecstatic to be engaged that it didn’t take the shine off the proposal.

Afterwards, over a glass of celebratory champagne, he suggested that we could pick a ring together when we got home from Venice and I was absolutely thrilled — and relieved!

The following week we went to a jeweller in Windsor. By then, I’d done some research and realised that, at almost 6 ft tall and with quite big hands, I needed a ring with presence if it was going to stand out.

There, I found the perfect one with striking square-set diamonds and more diamonds on the gold band. At £2,000, it was more than 13 times the cost of my original engagement ring, but Patrick didn’t seem to mind.

Seven years on, I never tire of looking at it glittering on my finger — and Patrick agrees that it’s very beautiful.

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