Vindictive wife ridicules me and I worry about effect on our daughter

10/09/2021

DEAR DEIDRE: ALL my life I’ve maintained good relationships with family and friends but my wife is vindictive and hurtful.

I am 31 and she is 29. We have been married for three years and have a five-year-old daughter.

No issue is too small, too large or too embarrassing. Read our personal replies here.

I don’t think I can stay with her any more.

Lately it feels like she only shouts at me, telling me I’m fat and ugly.

She ridicules me for being epileptic and says nobody else would ever be interested in me.

I’m worried about the example we are giving my daughter.

My wife’s mum treats her dad in a similar way, so I’m guessing this is where she has picked it up.

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DEIDRE SAYS: I think you have hit the nail on the head.

She has no doubt learned this behaviour from her own parents.

But while that might explain her actions, it doesn’t excuse them. Your wife’s treatment of you is abusive.

Until she recognises her worrying behaviour and tries to change, the abuse will continue.

Tell her you’ve reached a crisis point and cannot continue because these rows are destructive.

I am sending you my support packs on Abusive Partners and When Parents Fall Out, both of which contain sources of support for you.