Sex is always on my wife’s terms and every time I ask she says no – The Sun

DEAR DEIDRE:  SOME days my partner says she wants sex to be more spontaneous but when I try, she shoots me down. I am so confused.

We have two children and my partner suffered post-natal depression.

I am 28, she is 29, and our children are three and two.

My partner is home with the children and gets tired, so I have always asked her beforehand if she wants sex.

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A few weeks ago she said she wanted it to be more spontaneous.

I tried and it went well but, after a week or so, she said no again, even if I was spontaneous.

She uses excuses such as it is too late but, even when I try at a reasonable hour, she still refuses.

DEIDRE SAYS: Tell your wife how confused you are. Say you understand that she wants sex to be more spontaneous but you feel you cannot read the signs right.

Ask her how she would be able to improve her signall­ing about sex.

Can you agree, for example, that, if she suggests an early night, or cuddles up closely to you in bed, it lets you know she is in the mood?

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