'People call and say only for you, I mightn't be here' – meet the volunteers who'll spend Christmas talking to strangers

There’s no good time of the year to feel like you’re on your own with nobody to talk to but the pain of feeling lonely gets exacerbated at this time of year, according to Teresa Bell. She will be on duty for the Samaritans this Christmas Day in their Athlone branch.

She’s been volunteering on December 25 for so many years now that it’s become part of her own Christmas tradition. Teresa, who joined the Samaritans 22 years ago and is deputy regional director of the organisation in Ireland, believes that while people have problems every day of the week, those problems come into sharp relief at this time of year as expectations for things to be perfect soar.

She explains that the end of the year is a tough time for people; the dark days of winter and the bad weather can make it hard for some people to get out and about.

“If there’s financial difficulties, Christmas puts the squeeze on people. There’s more alcohol and if you’re not in a relationship or you’ve just come out of one, it can be difficult. For someone who is feeling vulnerable and they don’t have many friends or close ties with family this can reinforce the pressure they feel because there’s so much of an emphasis on family,” she says.

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“It’s very important that people know we are there. We’re there every day and people should know there will be someone there if they make a call or send a text,” says Teresa, a retired civil servant.

She is one of about 150 Samaritan volunteers who will be on duty this Christmas Day taking it in turns to man the phones for three hour shifts, being at the end of the line for people during their darkest hours if they are struggling to cope.

Last year, Samaritans volunteers answered more than 40,000 calls during the month of December. On Christmas Day volunteers responded to some 1,150 calls for help from people feeling overwhelmed by the festivities. Dozens of text messages and emails were also answered.

“The first thing we do is ask the caller how they are feeling. The thing with the Samaritans volunteers is we have time and we give the person time. We ask them about their lives and it allows them to open up to someone in a way they might not open up to someone they know. We are not afraid to talk to people about the difficult areas of their lives,” says Teresa.

“It’s amazing how many people ring us on Christmas Day and thank the volunteers. Some say only for you I mightn’t be here. For volunteers that’s a very gratifying experience,” she says.

Eric O’Byrne (34) from Killiney will also be on duty for a few hours this Christmas Day. He volunteers with the ISPCC’s Childline service. This will be his second year in a row to man the phones on December 25 at the organisation’s helpline centre in Dublin City.

“It’s busy – one of the busiest days of the year. On average we get about 1,000 contacts a day across phone and text. It’s over 1,200 on Christmas Day,” says Eric, who works in the legal department of a large multinational company.

The stories Eric hears are a sobering reminder that for many children around the country, Christmas is not about Santa and sleighbells, but worry and dread.

“We hear about parents who aren’t there; parents who haven’t come home because they were out the night before or parents who are there but because of addiction they’re essentially not there. I was lucky enough to grow up in a home where Christmas was very special. That’s not the case for everyone,” says Eric.

While he says the work can be incredibly tough, it may be the first time a child has spoken to anyone at all.

“The idea is that it’s a safe place to go. Christmas is a time that makes some children feel scared – they can be worried about a parent’s behaviour. One thing we as volunteers get reminded of all the time is how lucky we are,” he says.

In Dundalk, Co Louth, Angela Carney is one of a team of volunteers working with Alone, which helps elderly people struggling with loneliness and social isolation by providing befriending services and support co-ordination during crisis situations.

She has a number of elderly people to call by telephone during her shift. That friendly phonecall can help the person to deal with specific issues like getting the flu jab or it can also just be to have a chat about life in general.

“It’s unbelievable how much a phonecall can impact on a person’s life. Some people just love to chat and it could be a long phonecall – we don’t restrict the length of time,” says Angela, who is retired from her job with the ESB.

“I would always ask what they’re doing for Christmas. The trappings of it all can get on their nerves at this time of year. Some feel that Christmas has become very commercial and the real meaning of Christmas is missing. Loneliness comes up a lot – it can be as a result of bereavement or being on their own,” she says.

Patricia Molloy is part of Alone’s team in Donegal where she goes to the charity’s Lifford centre to make calls to older people. She also visits a number of older people in their homes.

“I have about 20 people to ring on a Tuesday morning. The majority don’t like Christmas because they think of the loved ones who are not there anymore.

“They get lonely. Once you ring them they know your voice and they love to chat,” says Patricia.

Alone’s chief executive Sean Moynihan says many older people are just looking forward to getting into January but their volunteers try to bring the spirit of Christmas into their lives.

This year the charity will have worked with 7,000 elderly people – that’s a 400pc increase in the last four years and the organisation is calling for more volunteers to get involved.

For all of us he says the season of goodwill represents a chance to reach out to someone. “Don’t leave it to someone else – make the friendly knock on the door or make that phonecall,” says Monihan.

• Anyone can contact Samaritans FREE any time from any phone on 116 123, even a mobile without credit. This number won’t show up on your phone bill. Or you can text 087 260 9090 (standard test rates apply), email [email protected] or visit samaritans.org to find details of your nearest branch, where you can talk to one of their trained volunteers face to face. Alone can be contacted on (01) 679 1032 for anyone hoping to use their services or become a volunteer. If you need support, or would like to make a referral, you can call their national phone line at 0818 222 024. See also alone.ie Childline is available at freephone 1800 66 66 66 or at free text 50101. See also childline.ie

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