My grandparents brought me up and I am lost and upset after they died | The Sun

06/12/2022

DEAR DEIDRE: I WAS brought up by my grandma and grandad and feel so utterly lost now that they have died.

I’m a 23-year-old woman and have a six-month-old son and a lovely boyfriend, who is 25.

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My parents didn’t really figure in my life. They never took an interest in me.

When I was two years old my mum handed me over to her parents because she couldn’t cope.

My parents separated and both went on to have two children each.

It never mattered to me before and grandma and grandpa gave me everything I needed.

They loved me and made me into a good person.

When grandma died three years ago I was devastated but threw everything into looking after grandad.

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But he died a year ago, when I was pregnant.

It breaks my heart they won’t ever see my child. I miss them both every single day.

DEAR DEIDRE

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DEIDRE SAYS: Becoming a mum yourself will make the mourning process even more acute.

Not only are you grieving for your grandparents but for the relationship you never had with your own parents.

As you bring up your own young child, you will relate more to what you went through as an infant.

You are starting your own family unit now, and can be the type of parent yours failed to be.

Counselling will help you process this hurt.

Contact Tavistock Relationships (tavistockrelationships.org, 020 7380 1960) who can offer support.