‘I haven’t told my wife our sex life is bad – I’ve had 5 affairs instead’03/11/2023
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A man revealed why he had five affairs instead of leaving his wife.
'Nate', who is in his thirties, delved into infidelity shortly after tying the knot.
After being pursued by an older woman in a senior position at a work office party, the London-based businessman got quite the taste for leading a double life.
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The Christmas bash made him realise that his 'vanilla' sex life with his spouse is no longer cutting it – but, he did not let on to his bedroom troubles.
Instead, while his wife tends to their two children at home, Nate is an active user on dating website Ashley Maddison – where people join to seek an affair.
And since joining eight years ago he has had five extra martial affairs with an array of women – among various other short-term dates in-between.
Despite leaving his family in the dark, Nate exclusively revealed to Daily Star the reasonings behind his lustful escapades.
"It's definitely sexual," he admitted to us as he concealed his true identity.
"But having said that it's good to have a good emotional connection and sexual chemistry with someone before taking them steps to have some fun together.
"It's more about finding someone I can really connect with then having that fun and doing that repeatedly together.
"I've had some occasions where it's just been once and I didn't enjoy that as much. When you learn what pleasures them and what they enjoy, you learn to trust each other.
"But it really is just for sex and pleasure, it's [affairs] not for finding another soul mate."
Nate is not on the hunt for someone to run away in the sunset with.
In what he calls his "preference", the dad and affair enthusiast would much rather have regular steamy sex with his wife.
However, her 'vanilla' approach to doing the deed is what urges Nate on to seek others who can fulfil certain needs.
"For me, it's not about finding someone to run off with or fall in love with," he explained.
"Certainly, there's been a couple of times that felt things have gone on a bit too far.
"The emotions have developed too far for that person so I had to bring it to an end."
"I don't think addictive is the right word but it's a rush to get those butterflies and attention from someone.
"And that nervous spark of energy you get from meeting someone new.
"The experience around it is exhilarating."
Saying that, Nate claims to still be head over heels for his wife.
He's tried to spice things up with sex toys and saucy lingerie – but it's not enough to make her tick.
And as the gifts don't see the light of day, Nate finds himself back on the niche dating site looking to please his sexual appetite.
"I'd say [my sex life with my wife] has been very vanilla," he voiced.
"I'm often the one that will make the approach to have sex and try and create a romantic evening.
"It's quite straightforward when it happens [sex] and there's no passion
"I try to speak to her and say 'should we explore this' or 'I've got the really hot fantasy, should we give it a go?'
"And on occasion I might buy some underwear or something she might like and ask her what she might like and I'd buy it as a present.
"She doesn't engage with it though. The underwear or toys I bought have only been used once.
"It is important to keep talking about it but it's a one way conversation – it's a bit of struggle."
Nate dips in and out of his account on Ashley Maddison to try and work on saving the sex life in his marriage.
But eight years in, he's not had much luck.
As he continues to attempt to spice up at his sex life at home, he can't quite contain the "itch" of meeting someone new.
"Every now and then I try and leave it [Ashley Madison] and try to refocus my efforts on seeing if I can change things in my own relationship," he said.
"If I could do that and my partner would be more open about experiences and her pleasure then I would think to leave Ashley Madison.
"But my preference would be if my wife and I could be on the same page with sexual appetite and what we would explore. Then I wouldn't be on Ashley Madison.
"Though there's always that itch of excitement about meeting someone new, that will always be there. It's been a great outlet."
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