How do I tell my brother his angry outbursts scare me? | The Sun

How do I tell my brother his angry outbursts scare me? | The Sun

07/14/2022

DEAR DEIDRE: HOW do I tell my brother that his angry outbursts are starting to scare me?

We’ve never been that close, even as children. We’re two very different people.

He’s 28, I’m 24 and over the last year, I really feel like he’s grown to hate me.

He’s constantly making digs about my appearance, my job and my plans for the future.

But his angry outbursts are becoming a little too regular.

Tiny incidents can trigger him. For example, if I forget to Hoover the footwell of his car after borrowing it.

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I’ve wondered if he is like this because our dad always told him to “man up” and to keep his emotions to himself.

He wasn’t allowed to cry.

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DEIDRE SAYS: You could be right.

We learn our behaviour from our parents so your brother could be mimicking your dad’s critical approach.

When he starts to spiral, calmly say you’re not interested in having an argument and walk away. Hopefully, he will get the message.

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But also, in a calm moment, explain to him that if he continues to behave like this, you may have to distance yourself from him.

I’m sending you my support pack, Standing Up For Yourself, to help.

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