Former alcoholic nearly lost children after being drunk on school run

Mother who used alcohol to cope with her son’s autism reveals she nearly lost her children after her best friend told social services she was drunk on the school run

• Paula Loader, 47, from Bournemouth, is a recovery worker for charity Addaction 
• The devoted mother lives with her two teenage sons Alfie, 16, and Fenton, 13
• Paula reveals how she turned to alcohol after Fenton was diagnosed with autism

A mother who turned to alcohol after struggling to cope with her son’s autism has revealed how she nearly lost custody of her children by being drunk on the school run.

Paula Loader, 47, from Bournemouth, lives with her two sons Alfie, 16, and Fenton, 13, and is now a recovery worker for charity Addaction – which supports people with alcohol and drug misuse.

But it took nearly losing both her children to give Paula – who has been sober since spending 12 weeks in rehab in November 2016, after relapsing twice – the motivation to get help. 

In September 2015, the former hotel chef was visited by social services after a tip-off from her best friend, Sarah, warned them she had been drink-driving on the school run.

Her addiction to alcohol began a year prior, after the mundane routine she had instilled to help her son Fenton deal with his autism became too much to deal with.

Paula Loader (pictured left), 47, turned to alcohol after struggling to cope with her son’s autism

Speaking to The Sun, Paula recalled: ‘Every day was the same routine. We drove the same routes, read the same bedtime stories and Fenton ate the same foods. 

‘If things changed, he’d have a meltdown. I tried to put on a brave face, but I felt like I was drowning.’

In 2010, Paula split from Alfie and Fenton’s father – a year after her younger son, then four, had been diagnosed with autism. She quit her job as a chef to become Fenton’s full-time carer. 

But she didn’t consider drinking as a way to cope until she heard other parents at the school gates talking about how much they were looking forward to ‘a glass of prosecco at the end of a hard day’.

Hoping this would help her unwind too, Paula soon started enjoying a glass of wine. However, in 2014, this quickly became a bottle a night before she swapped to vodka to reduce calories. 

Paula, from Bournemouth, lives with her two sons Alfie, 16, and Fenton (left), 13, and is now a recovery worker for charity Addaction

When family members mentioned her excessive drinking, Paula would blame it on a bad day or claim to be celebrating some sort of occasion.

She even alternated stores so staff members wouldn’t notice the amount of alcohol she consumed, and would take a water bottle filled with vodka when watching Alfie’s football games.

In 2015, Paula’s addiction reached new heights as she started to need a drink as soon as she woke up to stop the withdrawal symptoms.

And so, during the school runs, Paula would take back roads and avoid people on the playground to make sure she wasn’t caught. 

But those closest to the mother-of-two grew increasingly concerned and Paula’s best friend Sarah – who she had known since she was 11 – pleaded with her to get help.  

But it took nearly losing both her children to give Paula (pictured) – who has been sober since spending 12 weeks in rehab in November 2016, after relapsing twice – the motivation to get help

Both her mother and her children’s father also offered their support, yet Paula didn’t admit to having a problem until that knock on the door from social services.

She recalled: ‘When the social worker arrived that morning, I was in the grip of addiction. It just didn’t register how wrong my behaviour was, because I was no longer thinking straight.’

Thankfully for Paula, social services didn’t involve the police, and instead organised transport for the mother and her children to get to school.

It was also agreed that Paula’s mother would move in to her daughter’s home while she underwent a detox, so that social services could be satisfied that a responsible adult remained in the house.

As part of her recovery, Paula apologised and thanked even thanked Sarah, who admitted to tipping-off the authorities because she had been worried about the children.

Paula has been working with Addaction since March this year, and credits the charity with giving her a ‘fresh purpose’.

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