I was anorexic at 5 – I’d boast about how little I weighed at primary school and people said mum was a bad parent

AMY Byron was just five when she first refused food – her best friend offered her some crisps and she said no.

"I told her I didn’t want to get fat," said Amy.

“Not long after mum took me to the doctors and I was diagnosed with malnutrition. I was so tiny, I had a little pot belly like children in developing countries.”

It was when Amy was at school her mum recognised her daughter was showing all the signs of an eating disorder.

“I was six when I looked in the mirror. I was admiring myself in my school uniform but what really caught my eye was seeing how thin my legs were. I liked them like that.

“That day I boasted to my class mates about what I weighed. When my teacher overheard me she pulled me to one side and told me not to talk like that about my weight.”

Amy, today 19, spent her childhood under the care of psychologists, psychiatrists and dietitians. Scales were banned at home. Meal times revolved around calorific shakes – and yet she still didn’t put on weight.

“No one knows what triggered my eating disorder. Back then the medical experts were careful not to put a label on me or my condition.

“On one awful occasion mum broke down sobbing. As she held me she said, 'I’m so close to losing you.' My nan was there and she got upset too. Mum had been warned that if I didn’t put on weight my organs would fail and I’d die.

“Until I was 11 she insisted I sleep with her – because she didn’t know how long she would have with me.”

The mum-of-one from Portsmouth says the doctors who treated her pointed the finger at her mum for poor parenting.

“One psychiatrist came to the house and recommended parenting classes to mum," she said. "He gave her leaflets and was almost saying it was her fault. It wasn’t, I just didn’t want to eat.

“I was anxious – and that made her anxious too. Mum tried everything. She’d cut my food into animals to make it appetising.

“She’d give me my tea but I’d hide it behind the TV. At school my lunch went straight into the bin. I didn’t even take off the wrappers.

“There was one awful Christmas when she found loads of mouldy food behind the tree. She went mad at me about it.”

At primary school Amy recalls not having many friends.

“School was dead strict about what we had in our lunch boxes. Yet I was allowed sugary and high calorie products like chocolate mini rolls. I even had to sit next to the head teacher and eat them. I wasn’t with everyone else and felt really left out.

“I looked odd. I had downy hair all over my body. I was regularly havingscans to check my bone density. Everyone would go on about how small I was.”

When Amy was 11 and went to secondary school the eating disorder came with her.

“I was stick thin and I’d get called some horrible names such as ironing board or chicken. My spine was curved, sticking out of my clothes. The bones across my collar bone protruded too. My hair was thin you could even see through my scalp in places where it had fallen out.

“But then my hormones and puberty kicked in. My body was changing and while I couldn’t do anything about it – I could control what I ate.

“I did PE for the first year. After that I wasn’t allowed to take part. I felt left out. I didn't get to enjoy sports day or rounders matches.”

It was then Amy also discovered other girls like her on social media.

“It’s a really competitive disorder. Before Instagram banned certain hashtags I’d find other girls and message them asking what worked for them. We all did it.

“These kinds of online friendships are dangerously unhealthy. You are in constant competition about your lowest weight. It’s a horrible trait.”

Amy was frequently assessed at the local eating disorder clinic and there were times she feared she would be admitted. Yet her “saviour” came into her life when she was 15.

“My counsellor helped me unlock a lot in my brain.

“I was able to see what I could control when it came to the portions of food I was eating. It was a revelation.

“As a child in the mental health system you often get patronised and it’s rare to find someone you click with. I saw him for a year and it was a life changer for me.”

During that time Amy went from 6st 6lbs to 7st 2lbs: “By now I was 16 and at 5ft 8in that was slim. It was rare for me to get beyond that weight.”

Amy recognises a side effect of the eating disorder was the havoc she wreaked on her body.

“My periods started when I was 13. I’d get one for a week and then I could go for months without one."

In December 2017 Amy was at the doctors for a contraceptive pill check-up and asked about her fertility.

“My GP went through my notes and said, “I don’t know if you can have a baby after what your body has been through.”

A year later Amy was shocked to discover she was going to be a mum.

“Instead of congratulating me everyone asked when I was going to have an abortion.

“It was a miracle to find out I’d managed to create a baby. There was no question of me not going ahead. I thought this might be my only chance."

Yet Amy confesses she did struggle at times during the pregnancy.

“It seems crazy now but I was carrying my baby and extra pounds to support the him – yet two days before I gave birth I freaked out about the weight I’d put on.”

Today Amy lives with her partner and their son Jamie, 18 months.

“I got my body back by taking Jamie out for long walks in the pram. Nowadays we run around and play together. It uses up his energy and keeps me trim too.

“It’s better for my mental health because I’m not obsessing about going to the gym. Before I had Jamie I’d work out until I almost passed out.

“We eat together every evening and I cook healthy meals that all three of us enjoy. Before I though eating food equalled weight gain. Now my mind says eating food equals family time and fun.

“I get bad days now and again – but I recognise them for what they are. Recently I saw a diet plan online. When I entered my weight and height it told me I was overweight and I panicked. But the rationale me kicked in. So I went on the NHS website. It calculated I was the right weight for my height. They were trying to flog a diet.

“Today I’m 8st 6lbs. Even though I’m not ‘pre baby’ weight, it’s right for my body.

“Jamie is my best friend. I was really unhealthy before he came into my world – I see that now. He’s my little saviour.

“I want to set a good example to other women who might be like I was – my body has created a baby.

“I look at pictures of me as a child and recognise how thin I was. I’m lucky to be here.”

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