How deadlines transformed mum’s life and made sure she achieved her goals — from dream job to buying a house – The Sun

How deadlines transformed mum’s life and made sure she achieved her goals — from dream job to buying a house – The Sun

01/28/2020

GETTING a job, having a family, travelling the world – it’s not easy to fit it all in. But while some of us just lurch from day to day, “deadliners” leave nothing to chance.

This expanding group of women set themselves lists of life deadlines to ensure they achieve their goals.


This month it was reported that actress Michelle Keegan, 32, had set herself a “baby deadline” to make sure she and hubby Mark Wright, 33, start a family soon.

And mum Marie Nemorin-Noel agrees that setting goals helps to make the most out of life. Cabin crew manager Marie, 44, says: “I can’t remember a time in my life when I didn’t have a deadline I was working towards.

“When I was 16 and making choices about my future I sat down one day and planned out the next five years of my life.

“By 17, I wanted to have my first job at a hairdresser’s, by 18 I wanted £500 of savings, by 19 I wanted to move out of home into a flat and by 20 I wanted to be a qualified junior stylist.

‘FRIEND SAID FIND A NICE MAN TO MARRY'

“I felt more in control seeing it all down in writing.” Making lists gave Marie more focus and soon she was visiting local hair salons with her CV.

She said: “I didn’t go out with friends — instead I spent time speaking to salon managers every weekend until, after two months, I got a job at a local hair salon. I had just turned 17.”

Bang on target, at 20, Marie had achieved all those original written goals. She says: “Every time I achieved a goal, I’d write down the date then write down a new one.

“I made a goal when I was 20 to save £500 a year until I was 30 and buy my first house before I was 35.


“I worked lots of weekends and was saving as much as I could — which meant when friends asked me to go on holiday, I always turned it down.”

Marie then bought her first home ahead of schedule, thanks to getting a promotion six months before her deadline, but the lack of holidays and travelling was taking its toll.

She says: “I’d been so preoccupied with my job, I’d missed out, so I made the huge deadline of visiting 40 countries by the age of 40.

“But I still had my £500-a-year savings deadline to meet so needed to do something drastic to afford to travel. That’s when I had the idea to become an air hostess.”

'KNEW I'D FOUND MY MAN'

Her determination unwavering despite several rejection letters, she was accepted on a cabin-crew training course at the age of 31.

Marie, from Watford, says: “Friends told me to set up my own salon and find a nice man to marry, but I couldn’t face the thought of giving up other deadlines I’d given myself.

“I was finally accepted on to a six-week cabin-crew training course with an international airline. Then I took my first flight to another country — Jordan. The minute we landed, I marked an ‘1’ in my diary.

“Over the next eight years, I travelled the world and hit 40 countries by 39. I flew all over Europe, Asia and North America — even getting to Damascus, Syria and Kazakhstan.”


Travelling the world certainly enriched Marie’s life, but by now all her friends were married with kids, so she set her sights elsewhere. She says: “I wanted to meet a man by 40 and have a baby by 42. I made a ‘perfect man board’ and listed all the traits I wanted.

“He needed to be tall, have dark hair, be kind and driven. I set about dating as much as possible, but no one ticked my boxes. That’s when I realised an old friend might be exactly who I was looking for.”

As a teenager, Marie had been friends with Matthew Goldie, now 45 and a shop manager. She says: “In 2017, I decided to track down Matthew.

"He was thrilled to hear from me and we set a date. That night, I knew I’d found my man, and in three months we were living together.

'YOU FOCUS ON YOUR DREAMS'

After six months, I knew I had to come clean and told him all about my life goals, and that I had planned to have a baby by 42.

"He didn’t think I was crazy and agreed to start trying.” But when tests came back showing Marie was unlikely to conceive naturally, she panicked that she might miss her deadline.
She says: “I changed my diet, took up more exercise and tracked my fertility periods. Age 43, I took my 30th pregnancy test — and it was positive.

"Our daughter Elise was born in April 2019 and has been a dream come true. Without my deadlines, I don’t think I’d ever have pushed so hard to achieve so much in my life.

"And I’m still setting them now. I want to become a trainer of cabin crew by 45, own three homes by 46, have a second child by 47, and add another ten countries to my list by 55.

“Being a deadliner works because you focus on your dreams. If you visualise it happening, it will.”



GOOD TO SET GOALS

PSYCHOLOGIST Jo Hemmings says: “Goal-setting is definitely a good thing.

It gives meaning to our behaviour, as well as a sense of purpose by creating our own map of where we want to head and how and when we get there.

“Like with any journey, there are unpredictable obstacles and having life deadlines can have the opposite effect, leading to disappointment and lack of motivation.

“The best goals are those driven by realism and self-awareness, and which are, most importantly, adaptable to situations we have little or no control over.”

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