Simon Cowell 'in pieces' during 'hardest moment of my life' on X Factor

Simon Cowell 'in pieces' during 'hardest moment of my life' on X Factor


Simon Cowell has opened up about struggling with grief after his mum died during filming for X Factor.

The music impresario’s mother Julie died aged 89 just 24 hours before he was due to appear on the ITV talent competition back in 2015.

The first show was cancelled but Syco founder returned as head judge three days later, explaining at the time it was what his mum would have wanted.

But Simon, father to Eric, named after his own dad who died in 1999 from a heart attack, has said he was still struggling with grief behind the scenes.

‘It was really difficult… I’m in pieces but then I’m on TV. There were moments afterwards where it was really, really hard.

‘And of all the times in my life, that was the hardest because it was just total finality. My mum and dad had gone and that was it,’ he told The Mirror.

Simon previously said he thought ‘long and hard’ about returning to X Factor so soon after his mother’s death.

‘I thought about it long and hard. I gave myself two or three days and then… I know it sounds like a cliché, but having such a strong bond with my mum meant I knew exactly what she’d have said. It would have been “this is your show, you love the show, go back and do your job”’.

He added that he found it ‘very difficult’ to come to terms with her death, but having to head back to the show helped him cope.

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‘I’m not going to lie. There were times it was incredibly difficult, but then there were other times I was able to switch my mind off and concentrate on what was happening and the contestants.’

He later said that he still spoke to his late parents every day.

The statement from the Cowell family announcing Julie’s death read: ‘Today our beloved mum Julie passed away. Anyone who had met her would know what a truly special and kind lady she was.

‘We are heartbroken and will miss her terribly, but she is now at peace.’

Simon created the X Factor which ran in the UK from 2004 until 2018. He also was a judge on the US version of the show.

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