How to Have the Hard Vaccination Conversations

Asking someone if they’ve had a Covid shot can be tricky. Here’s how to navigate the new norms of health disclosure.

By Elisabeth Kwak-Hefferan

Ashley Z. Ritter’s vaccination conflict came to a head in April. She’d hired a part-time babysitter for her three kids just as the family moved to a new home in Yardley, Pa., last August. The babysitter, Lauren Greenewald, helped manage virtual school for the two older children, 6 and 7, while also juggling the 2-year-old and working toward a master’s degree in school counseling.

Dr. Ritter, a nurse practitioner and postdoctoral fellow at the University of Pennsylvania, strongly preferred that her caregiver be vaccinated against Covid-19 and, once the shot was available, asked Ms. Greenewald about her plans for getting it. Her babysitter was reluctant.

“My main concerns were that it’s under an emergency use authorization,” Ms. Greenewald said, and that the available vaccines don’t yet have full approval from the Food and Drug Administration. “Being a young, healthy person, I’m not really in a high-risk category. I don’t think it’s necessary for me to get it without seeing long-term studies.”

Dr. Ritter had been doling out advice about conflicts just like this one in her role as chief clinical officer for the Dear Pandemic blog. But she discovered it’s another thing altogether to face such a conflict herself.

“She was a blessing to us in a really hard time, and took really great care of our children,” Dr. Ritter said. “This was a hard thing to take.”

These are confusing times, as widening access to the vaccination bumps up against significant pockets of vaccine hesitancy (20 percent of American adults say they definitely won’t get the shot, or only will if it’s “required for work or other activities”). How do you know whether the co-worker sharing your office space has been vaccinated? The same could be asked about college students, professors, pastors and congregants, camp counselors and the web of other relationships we are resuming in person.

When is someone’s vaccination status your business — and what do you do if you don’t like the answer you get? Here’s how a bioethicist, epidemiologist, lawyer and etiquette expert are navigating the new norms of vaccination disclosure.

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